Yeah, yeah, thanks fans.
Don't crowd me.
Don't crowd me, fans.
Yeah, hello.
My name's Joe Cornish.
Oh yeah, my name's Adam Buxton.
And you're listening to the Adam and Joe Coca-Cola New Music Podcast in its new bi-weekly slimmed-down form.
I know, it seems like only a couple of weeks since we've been away.
It's weird that, isn't it?
Yeah, and in fact it has been two weeks.
This new Slim Down podcast is so much better than the old lardy tub bucket podcast.
This new Slim Down podcast is like a perky little teenage German gymnast who comes boinging off the parallel bars enthusiastically up to you and, I don't know, claps some powder into her hands and gets 10.0 from all nine judges.
Should we have some music straight away?
Straight away music?
That's my favourite kind of music!
Let's have some music from The Kaibosh.
Wow, that sounds to me like a whole new brand of distortion at the end.
Yeah.
It sounded like the track was being eaten by thousands of metallic nano-ants.
Nano-ants?
Yeah.
He's got a new plug-in there, the nano-ant plug-in.
He's plugged in some cyber-insects that are nibbling away at the corners of his fade-out.
He was in the Matrix there, I think.
He's made it sound amazing.
Now they hail from the Emerald Isle, Ireland, also known as Pastry Town.
Is that so?
No, that's not true.
I made that up.
Now, the other day, this is something I didn't make up.
I went to the funfair.
The most depressing thing about it was this thing called Adventure Castle.
Oh, that sounds brilliant.
And it was a thing that you just pay, you pay two quid to get in there.
Basically, everything costs two quid.
And then you just wander around this thing that they've imaginatively converted into a sort of exciting house of adventure.
And some of the features of the house of adventure were
Two rusty metal plates moving very slightly.
Oh, dangerous.
In opposite directions.
Two sandbags hanging from the ceiling.
Oh, adventure.
Blue, they were blue.
Oh, blue.
Yes.
The colour of adventure.
Some steep steps.
dangerous.
Careful.
Adventure castle.
Some ropes hanging from the ceiling.
Watch out for those ropes.
You can walk between them.
Careful.
I'm caught in the ropes.
Watch out for the rope.
There's a rope in my hair.
Careful.
And most excitingly of all, a boy with very bad body odour in a rotating drum.
Now, come on, he wasn't part of the attraction, was he?
I think he might have been because he was on there for about an hour while we tried to get on.
In a rotating drum?
Yeah, it's like a big rotating drum.
Where you forget where the bottom is.
That's right.
Where the ground is.
Exactly.
That was the thing that was most exciting about Adventure Castle for my son.
Yeah.
Could we get on it?
No, we couldn't, thanks to the BO Boy!
You're a big man, couldn't you have just told him to go away?
I was frightened of him.
Were you?
How old is he?
Fourteen.
Fourteen?
Yeah.
Forty?
Fourteen.
Wow.
He was wearing a football strip.
Sometimes quite hard to tell how old they are with the biggums.
He was wearing a football strip.
And then to cap the whole enjoyable not, visit to the unfair, right?
See what I did?
I like it.
The unfair.
Took the F off.
Exactly.
F off unfair.
Right.
Yeah, I've expanded your phrase.
Nice.
Made it even cleverer.
I really like what you did.
And as we were leaving the unfair, I trod on a sandwich, right?
A big sandwich.
Except
It wasn't a sandwich!
It was a giant dog pop!
And it was the most vomituous one I've ever encountered in my life.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share that, man.
These sessions are very valuable for getting stuff like that off my chest.
That's okay.
We're just gonna have a little bit of music, if that's alright?
Oh, that's more than alright.
Because I love music.
One thing I love more than music?
What?
Ireland.
Oh, well, here's an interesting combo-notion of the two.
A combo-notion?
It's a song called Daydream.
It's by James Lynn.
And it's from Ireland.
And it's music.
You've made me a very happy short man.
I'm worried about James Lynn.
He's got cigarette butts building up.
He's doing crosswords.
He's daydreaming.
He doesn't know what to do about the bill.
He's going doot-doot.
Dude, basically he's immature.
The bill.
I thought he was worried about the builder mole he's got.
Maybe.
I thought he had like a little mole with a hard hat on who was doing some building.
He was worried about the, you know, like the mole wasn't delivering on time.
The mole said it was going to be six months.
It turned out to be a year.
Well, it's a catalogue of problems.
Yeah.
But I think he needs to just grow up a bit.
You really?
Yeah.
That's a bit harsh.
Well, he's sitting at home, smoking.
Yeah.
Doing crosswords, daydreaming.
Everyone knows crosswords aren't good for you.
Not paying his bills.
Exactly.
Strumming on a guitar, going doot, doot, doot.
I mean, come on, there's a real world out there, James Lynn.
Exactly.
Get a job.
Get a job.
How old is he?
Forty-five?
Sixty-nine.
He's sixty-nine and he's still sat there with build-a-moles.
He lives with his parents.
He's a disgrace.
Pull your finger out, James Lynn.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
OK, now listen, here's a track that I found, right?
None of our Musespurts found this one.
I, Adam Buxton, found this.
Wow.
Trawling through all the extraordinary stuff.
That's impressive, man.
I found a song by a German.
Well, that's not difficult to do on this podcast.
No.
Do you know what?
The Germans and the Greeks seem to upload almost the most amount of music.
You know what?
Music biz insiders say that Germany and Greece are the hot new territories.
Do they really?
Yeah.
Are you just lying?
Yeah.
I thought you were.
I made it up, but it sounds convincing.
Well, listen, man, after you hear this track, that is going to sound like a true fact.
Because this is, I think this guy's going for a sort of ragga dancehall vibe.
And as far as I can tell, the band is called African, which further underlines the influence.
And the track I think is called Puerto Slash Plata.
i.e you know door plate a plate of doors i don't know what it's like an aperitif but it's a it's a summer it's a summer song yeah and he's talking about checking out the girls on the beach but this is i i should remind you listeners a german man as far as i can tell sort of going for a raga vibe and uh by way of the muppets and he scores highly on all counts that was extraordinary
Yeah, he was threatening someone halfway through there.
What was the end of that line?
He was going to summon that down on somebody who did something wrong.
It's hard to know whether to be sort of scared by that or to kind of,
Pat it like a little lame puppy.
Yeah, to be sad for it.
To feel bad on its behalf.
To run from it or take care of it.
You know what I mean?
I like it though, man.
It was incredible.
I sincerely like it.
Amazing vocal range there.
And then the squeaky bits.
That's my favourite bit.
What do you think?
I want to know more about that guy.
I know, it's frustrating.
We'll send our muse birds in to do some research.
Supplementary material.
I couldn't find any more tracks by the guy.
That's the other frustrating thing.
Because I want an album.
I'm interested in an album.
Really?
Yeah.
Anyway, that's pretty much all we've got time for, folks.
Again, our time has slipped away from us.
They're so slim, they're so slinky, these podcasts, aren't they now?
Yeah, but we'll be back with you in two more weeks.
You know, along with the slimness comes a regularity and an efficiency that is new and exciting.
See you, bye, love you, bye!
Bye!